Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Two of the reasons why I have successfully made it through the last 365 days. My sons.

Saturday, January 7, was the one year anniversary of Mama's death. Naturally I wondered how I would feel, how I would act.

So, in order to insulate myself in what I consider to be a healthy manner, I stopped by The Circuit NE Tuesday after work. No, I did not join Lamont and Leland in bouldering. Instead I said to them, "Let's go to lunch on Saturday after you've finished bouldering. You know it has been one year on that day." "Yes," and "Yes," they both said.

They came and got me around 1 p.m. I pulled a Grandma on them and was waiting in my apartment when they came to the door, purse in hand, my coat already on! We went to Cha! Cha! Cha! on SE Hawthorne. Good, inexpensive food. Then we went to JaCiva’s, also on SE Hawthorne, for some handmade chocolates. While I believe Mexican food and chocolate go hand in hand and made me feel pretty good on Saturday, it was being with Lamont (left) and Leland (right) that made me feel best of all.

Don't get me wrong, having the thoughts and prayers and love from y'all all over the USA and over in England has helped me endure and heal and go forth, but being able to see these two young men on a regular basis, to hug them and get hugs from them, to see their sparkling eyes and smiles, to be able to tell them face to face, thank you so much for the big part you played in making Grandma's last years on earth so special for her (and for me with her)--those things have taken me over the top.

I woke up on Saturday, wondering how it would go. By the time I had spent time on the phone with Milton and Kay and Howard, had been with Lamont and Leland and with Casey (who came over for while late afternoon), then had watched the Saints take care of Detroit on TV while I ate the supper I had cooked, I went to bed knowing I had made it one whole year. I feel stronger and more at peace than I thought possible. Now I am on my way into the next 365 days. Thank you, everyone.

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