A Parody: "Always Delete the Spam from Your Life"

For the past few weeks, I've thought and thought about purchasing a ticket to see "Monty Python's Spamalot." While pondering yet again Tuesday night, I sat at my laptop, deleting spam. An idea popped into my mind. Why not parody a song? About spam. But what song should it be? It must have taken me five minutes to have my biggest duh moment ev-er. Spam. Duh. It had to be "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life."

I'm sharing my effort with you because I hope you'll "... laugh and smile and dance and sing" like I wanted to tonight when I saw "Spamalot" at Keller Auditorium. I found the Broadway musical that visited Portland to be intelligent, hilarious, creative, entertaining, vivid, bawdy, memorable.

Here's "Always Delete the Spam from Your Life," to the tune of "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life":

Computer spam is bad,
Viruses make you really sad,
Not much else makes you feel any worse,
‘Cept your toe on a thistle,
Be humble,
Give a whistle
Good friends’ll speed to help at your behest
And …

Always delete the spam from your life
(whistle)
Always delete the spam from your life
(whistle)

It seems the spam you’ve gotten,
Contains things most verboten,
Please don’t give up in the face of this thing.
You just have to take your lumps.
To avoid the dumps
Caused by a spammed epistle
Here’s the thing.
And …

Always delete the spam from your life
(whistle)
Always delete the spam from your life
(whistle)

Spam is only a word
It’s the truth you just heard.
So you won’t kill your hard drive, no way, anyhow
If you don’t click In
Box received items unknown
Because you don’t recognize them no how

So …

Always approach e-mail spam with stealth
(whistle)
Just do so and ensure your hard drive’s health
(whistle)

Life’s quite full of it,
When you take a hit,
So laugh, don’t hold your breath ‘til you’re blue.
You’ll make less mess and so
Keep deleting as you go
And remember that new virus can’t get you.
And …

Always delete the spam out of life
Always delete the spam out of life
(whistle)

Always delete the spam out of life
(whistle)
Always delete the spam out of life
(whistle)
Always delete the spam out of life
(whistle)
Always delete the spam out of life
(whistle)
Always delete the spam out of life
(whistle)
Always delete the spam out of life
(whistle)
Always delete the spam out of life
(whistle)
Always delete the spam out of life
(whistle)